In every workplace, everyone works for a dog
We’ve all heard the saying, “Working like a dog.” However, while only some of us work like dogs, we all work for one.
First are lapdog bosses. Quintessential lapdogs, like the dainty and delicate Maltese, were bred solely for adornment. Lapdog bosses get a fancy title and a snazzy office, but they haven’t a clue. They won their job not by talent, but through well-connected relatives. Like a prissy little dog on a silk pillow, they don’t do a lick of real work. Higher ups pat them on their figure heads no matter what they do. Think of President Bush, Hurricane Katrina and “You’re doing a hecka of a job Brownie.” They cause resentment, because you do all the work while they get all the glory—and money.
The polar opposite of lapdog bosses are pit bull bosses. Pit bulls definitely are better than lapdogs because they actually have a brain and work hard. If you’re an outgoing, confident person, you can deal. Pit bulls will tell you exactly how they feel, but if they feel challenged and are never reined in by higher ups, they’ll go postal and bite your head off. They’ll rant, rave, pound fists and scream at employees, making them scurry like frightened little mice. Two minutes later they’ll give you an honest compliment or ask after your children. Gordon Ramsey of “Hell’s Kitchen” is a pit bull.
Then you have nervous Chihuahua bosses. These are your ankle biters. Chihuahuas can be good dogs, but if untrained, they’re a menace. And like an unbalanced little Chihuahua, these bosses are fearful and have sharp teeth. They’re nervous, suspicious, paranoid and will kill you with a millions small cuts. They’re insecure and need therapy, but in the meantime, be on guard and wear long pants.
Next up are Border collie bosses. Border collies and other herding breeds are extremely smart and hard working, always on the go. These are fairly good bosses, but only if you’re a top-notch, hardworking employee who goes above and beyond. Border collies work long hours, do a great job and expect you to do the same. Like a herder, they guide the flock in the right direction, always nipping at their heels. The only downside is they micromanage and have a problem delegating. They are the bossiest of bosses. If you’re a lazy slacker, you’ll get what you deserve, probably the boot.
German shepherd bosses are decent bosses as well. German shepherds are among the most intelligent of breeds, extremely intent on their mission. Such bosses are determined workers and like a good military officer, will lead by example and won’t ask you to do anything they wouldn’t do themselves. They’re true leaders who’ll take responsibility and never blame others. The downside of the German shepherd boss is they don’t often compliment good work, even if they admire it. They’ll always be your drill sergeant. Again, sensitive sorts might want to dust off their resumes.
Basenji bosses, like the breed are don’t bark. This trait in a boss is good in that they aren’t picking on your every move. The downside is you’ll never know where you stand, as you get no feedback. The quietest of bosses, they’ll keep you guessing, but consider yourself lucky if your boss is a Basenji, especially if you’re introverted yourself. If you’re a loud-mouth extrovert, this one can drive you insane over time.
Some of us have bosses in the hound family. First, the Bloodhound bosses. They’ll never attack you, but they’ll keep their sensitive nose to the ground and up your you-know-what. They’ll snoop around your desk, check your e-mails and monitor your every move, always on the trail for the scent of their prey, the “gotcha” moment. They don’t care what you do right, they just want to discover that one minuscule error. Hide your personal stuff and your lunch.
On the other hound hand there’s the basset, a laidback, good-natured and easy-going dog. Basset bosses are all these things too, but they’re slow slackers. No other boss has more mysterious out-of-office appointments. Their job description includes golf and three-hour lunches, while you toil away in the trenches making their reservations.
Cat bosses. Okay, cats aren’t dogs, but cat bosses have no dog traits. The traits are often stereotypical with cats, but with bosses, they’re spot on. They’re sneaky, conniving, cool on the outside and nice to your face, but the minute you turn your back, the claws come out. They’re two-faced liars, and if this describes your boss, run fast. Wilhelmina of “Ugly Betty” is a cat boss. And yes, men can be cat bosses too.
Lastly, the best bosses ever: Retrievers. If you have one of these, count your blessings no matter what your salary. These bosses are smart, good-natured, calm and fair. They compliment good work and if you mess up, they’re nice about telling you and asking you to do better. They have a light touch the same way a retriever gently holds a dead bird in its mouth. The only downside is they can be too good-natured when it comes to their own bosses and don’t bite back when they should. They can be taken advantage of by alpha dogs, because they gladly accept everything piled on them with a wag of the tail.
You’ll also notice you and your coworkers share some of these traits. But since you aren’t the boss, you can’t do as much damage. Just try to fit in with the pack as best you can.
So, what kind of dog boss do you have?
Picture above is a photo of my friend Saritha's dog, Dolly, a Golden Retriver.
posted by Sandy at 10/09/2007 10:46:00 AM
Pet People
21 Comments:
I HATE MY JOB!!
I have a boss who is part cat, part bloodhound and part Chihuahua. Did I mention that I HATE MY JOB?
Anyone have a job opening for an experienced administrative assistant who is proficient in computers, has excellent time management and will provide an extensive work load? I am looking for a position that pays a minimum of $40K a year. Willing to relocate.
In case you missed it the first time.... I HATE MY JOB!
The girls are the upper bosses in this house. They pretty much rule our every move!
Dolly is a pretty gal with a beautiful smile. It took some time but we did get a smile out of that hound Minnie! She let her guard down a couple of times with us so we did see that smile. I was not able to capture it with the camera but I still saw it so I know she will one day be a happy girl with strangers around….
Adrienne, I am so sorry you hate your job. Nothing is worse then dreading going to work each morning... Been there, done that. Now I am my own boss and work at home. I don’t bring any money into the house but work much harder then the Saint which provides us well. I do the housework, yard work, auto cleaning, etc and don’t make one dime. Saint sits on butt and plays the Maytag man and makes money! Something wrong with this picture…
Gorgeous dog!!!
:)
Adrienne, I wish you guys were moving here as you thought you were months ago. You'll never get paid that much around here, but the cost of living is a lot lower, as is housing.
My boss is a Golden, so I'm lucky. Skeeter's right, nothing worse that HATING your job. My sister hates here job too.She works at a school. Can't blame her! I could never work in a school!
Add me to the hate my job list! Actually, the job isn't bad--it's just that my job depends on others doing their job--which means I end up doing theirs and mine to make the ends meet. So they job isn't bad--its working with idiots--yes thats it--I HATE WORKING WITH IDIOTS
Anyone know where Pam is? She hasn't been around in a while.
Yes, I hate my job and feel your pain adrienne! However, my direct boss is awesome so it makes my day tolerable. The big bosses above him are the types of dogs who merely hump you and then turn around and urinate on you (unless of course you are a relative of one of the school board members, in which case they will smell your rear quarters and tell you how grand the aroma is)
I think it's insulting to ANY dog to compare them to a human, especially one in a powerful position.....so I must agree with brett that there are far too many human idiots.
WOW!
If my calculations are correct, the top 10 pet pictures on the Photo contest have earned $2734.00
That is wonderful....
Hey gang, I'm back.
Thanks for missing me Adrienne! I am so sorry you and everyone else hates your joba@ I ahve been there and done that too and it is one misserable feeling. I can remember going to work and when I saw the head honcho boss's auto in the parking lot and my stomacj churned! I dreded working with him so much! He was never satisfied with a thing I did no matter how much it helped him out! nother He was a real jerk but so was another boss I had before him, in fact he was a even bigger jerk so people I do feel your pain! And Adrienne I sure wish you guys as well as Skeeter and the Saint were moving here! Maybe sometime you can! Keep checking the LC for job openings. I'm also lucky that Flyboy takes good care of me and everything else so I don't have to work and that is good since I'm no longer able to do that.
Sandy, Skeeter, and Alice,
I have a great idea for our husbands for the Fur Ball. Since they refuse to wear costumes how about if I make them name tags? The Professor's will say Bob Newhart, Flyboy's will say from the Bob Newhart show: Larry, The Boss's and The Saint's will say from the Bob Newhart show: Darrell and fron the Bob Newhart show: The other brother Darrell! I love it! Anybody else think that is good or remember them? I'm sure Brett does. Also Stacey, if Sweetie doesn't dress up either I'll make him a tag that says from the Bob Newhart show: The handyman, what's his name Brett? Got a mental block on him. The one that Tom Poston played. ok, let's have some feedback.
I love that idea Pam! But we already did get a costume for the professor. But someone SHOULD do that!! It was SOOO funny. My dad loved it too, and he rarely showed ANY sense of humor. LOL But, hey, he was my dad and I loved him anyways...
The handyman's name was George Utley.
Welcome Back Pam...
Okay, only if the Saint gets to be the "Other Brother Darrell"... LOL
WE loved that show and I also loved the original Bob Newhart show also. Was too funny....
Thanks for the save Alice! All I could remember was George!
you got it Skeeter, The Saint will be The other brother Darrell,ha. And Alice, thanks for the name, now it's easy to remember George Utley.
Sandy, I loved this article in the newspaper this week and I love it here too!
What a beautiful golden!
I think I will dress up as a dog and let The Boss lead me in on a leash. I'll make him a T-shirt that says "The Boss."
And Pam, I do remember the show. Though if we could get them to dress up, they should be Larry, Moe and Curly!
They cant do the Three Stoogies bit. The Saint and Flyboy would fight over who would be Curley with their thinning heads...
Ohhhh.... Low blow, Skeeter. LOL
Hey Stacey, I recall you pointing out the thinning of the head on a picture I sent for Posting a while back... hummmm now who else gives low blows??? Shut up Dragon, you know what I mean. Where is that muzzle???
Skeeter, do you need the muzzle for Dragon or for yourself???? LOL
Probably Both of us! Me for saying such stuff and him for thinking such stuff... LOL
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